Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
