she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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