he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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