Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
