i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
