im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
