Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
