Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
