the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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