Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
