I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
