Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
