yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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