he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Quick, to the slutcave!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
