Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
