Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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