btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize