I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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