why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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