your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
