Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
