just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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