yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
