she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
