I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
