Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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