Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
