best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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