is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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