Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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