Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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