Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
