Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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