SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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