Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
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A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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