Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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