next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
