Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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