yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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