i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
