No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
