I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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