Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
