So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Small penises have feelings too.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
