Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
