I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
