just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
