the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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