Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.