If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
