everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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