FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
