We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
sex in a hospital.. check
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
