dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Go christen that room with your naked body.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
