no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
