Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
