why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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