Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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