You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
