dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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